Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Why Bother?

As mentioned in the previous post, I enjoy Weezer. A lot. It's true. I think one of the reasons that I like them so much is that their songs relate a lot to how I feel and think. I could name multiple songs that I think fit me perfectly, but one of them is "Why Bother?" from their Pinkerton album (Listen to it, its good). The gist of the song is that Rivers (the lead singer of Weezer) knows he's going to get hurt so he asks "Why Bother?" or what's the point of even trying when you know its not going to end well. This song is kind of my view point on dating. Some of you might say that is not a great outlook on dating or that maybe it is even a bitter outlook.... Yup.

I've told people about my Why Bother Weezer theory and they have been confused by it or taken it the wrong way. So I thought the best way to describe it would be graphically. But as soon as I tried to put my thoughts into graph form, I realized that the whole graph idea was easier said then done. I get what my brain is saying, but its another thing to try and get my thoughts out on paper (or whatever the blog equivalent of paper is). But after talking with a few people and playing around with a few different graphs, I think I finally figured out how to graph it.

The Why Bother Line (in red above) just shows the sum of all the crappy parts of dating:

  • the awkwardness of asking for a girl's number and asking her out
  • the chance of getting shut down and the suckiness of that
  • planning the first date
  • picking the girl up awkwardness
  • the whole we're on a date awkwardness
  • spending money
  • if it ends up being more than one date then you have the define the relationship awkwardness ahead
  • if it doesn't work out, the crapiness of the break up.
  • etc.
All that summed up together equals the Why Bother Line.

For me to date a girl, all her attributes (or how smitten I am) must exceed or be above the Why Bother Line. Her attributes can include, but are not limited to: looks, personality, where she lives, her interests, smarts, (my buddy, Bubba, said to put boobs on here, but I decided against it. Because that's not appropriate. Plus I'm a stomach and legs guy), etc etc. All these attributes can contribute to the over all smitten-ness level.

#1 shows the smitten level completely empty. I don't know why I put this on there, it just seemed like a good idea at the time
#2 shows a girl who surpasses the why bother line. This girl would be datable.

#3 shows a girl who's attributes do not exceed the Why Bother Line, and so she is not datable. Why should I bother?

Make sense? I hope so. I may end up re-writing this post a few times.

I also talked about this with my good friend, Ann, and my brother, Joe. They both came up with similar ideas. My brother, Joe, sent me this graph. This is also a pretty good representation on my dating theory.

So there you go. That is my dating theory. You may think that I am picky and shallow, but is it so wrong that I want to be head over heels for the people I date? That may seem gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) but that's how it is.

By the way, I was inspired by the television show "How I Met Your Mother." Here is the clip that inspired me.

(The Pops Proviso: Although this is my general rule, I do realize that I need to date. It's something you have to do when you are a 25 and single. And so, I will occasionally date for the sake of dating. Dating's a skill and you got to keep your game up.)


  1. I think you take more after Spence than me in this regard. You say "awkwardness" and "suckiness" while I say "excitement" and "thrill." It was a game to me and I enjoyed it. . .most of the time.

  2. Also, I really enjoed my link. Did not see that one coming. Possibly my favorite Scrubs moment of all time.

  3. And "enjoed" is simply the way I (Joe) enjoy things. It'll catch on soon.

  4. You're a stomach guy? What do you mean a stomach guy? As in you like a six pack?....

  5. I'm mainly a legs guys. But I also enjoy a nice fit stomach (not really a six pack... in fact that might be weird). But I don't have to date someone with a nice stomach or legs. They're just something I notice on a girl. Make sense?